In this Lunch and Learn I talk about what are boundaries, how to identify them and how to communicate them effectively (first video). I also update commonly held beliefs about boundaries and share with you 5 tips that you can start using right away (second video).

Brief Summary of the Content

Common beliefs that hinder your ability to use boundaries effectively:

People should know my boundaries.
Boundaries are selfish.
I should be kind and accommodating.
If I set a boundary, I will hurt the relationship.
If I set a boundary, the other person will be angry with me.

Empowering beliefs to hold around boundaries:

It is my responsibility to clearly and assertively communicate my boundaries.
Boundaries go both ways, and help relationships be mutually respectful.
I can be kind and I do not need to be accommodating.
Setting a boundary helps strengthen relationships.
Boundaries keep people who want to take advantage of me out of my emotional and personal life.

5 Tips to Start Applying Today:

Identify your needs to stay mentally, physically and socially healthy during COVID.
Know what boundary violations feel like for you.
Practice saying no in low-stake situations.
Don’t say yes, if you can’t say no. And, if you have to say yes, set the terms.
Proactively articulate your boundaries.
- You can use the DESO script in your professional and personal relationships to set boundaries and make ultimatums: http://www.tatianaastray.com/managing-relationships/2020/3/18/communication-tool-assertive-confrontation-and-boundary-setting-with-the-deso-script
- Alternatively, you can also use “I-statements” to make requests, best used for your personal relationships: http://www.tatianaastray.com/managing-relationships/2020/2/10/communication-tool-using-i-statements-to-make-requests-in-relationships