In negotiation, trust is not a soft add-on—it’s a strategic asset. When trust is present, parties are more likely to share information, explore creative solutions, and commit to agreements. Without it, negotiations become defensive, transactional, and often short-sighted.
At the heart of trust—and many of the outcomes that follow—are emotions. Emotions act as social signals that shape how we interpret intent, assess fairness, and decide what to share or concede. The same emotion can strengthen or sabotage a negotiation, depending on how and when it is expressed.
To negotiate effectively, leaders must build emotional awareness. Not to suppress emotion, but to use it with intention—to expand outcomes, de-escalate tension, and strengthen the relationship across the table.
What You’ll Find in This Article
Key takeaways on how emotion impacts trust and outcomes
Practical insights for using emotion strategically in negotiations
A breakdown of specific emotions that build or erode value
Executive Summary
Key Takeaways
Trust is a competitive advantage. It promotes openness, creativity, and long-term alignment. Without it, parties default to positional bargaining and defensive behavior.
Emotions drive both trust and results. They shape how we’re perceived, how much others are willing to share, and whether deals are seen as fair and sustainable.
Some emotions build trust; others erode it. Emotions like gratitude, regret, and calm positivity tend to foster connection. Emotions like unchecked anger, anxiety, or volatility tend to create distance and uncertainty.
Positive emotions support integrative outcomes. They make it easier to exchange information, brainstorm solutions, and build durable agreements.
Negative emotions can pressure short-term movement—but often damage long-term success. Anger, guilt, or fear may trigger concessions, but typically at the cost of relationship quality and follow-through.
5 Practical Ways to Use Emotion Strategically in Negotiation
Lead with warmth. A collaborative tone at the start encourages transparency and lowers defensiveness.
Express appreciation at key moments. Sincere gratitude, when timed appropriately, reinforces goodwill and trust.
Use emotional transparency with intention. Moderate, authentic expressions of disappointment or regret can prompt empathy—especially when the relationship has a foundation of trust.
Manage visible anxiety. Reframe nerves as commitment (“this matters to me”) and regulate your emotional presence to support clarity and credibility.
Avoid emotional extremes. Outbursts of anger, excessive gratitude, or repeated disappointment can signal instability or manipulation, reducing influence.
Emotions That Build Trust
When used intentionally, certain emotions signal authenticity, vulnerability, or care—all of which strengthen professional relationships.
Gratitude
Expressing gratitude reinforces connection and shows that you value the other party’s contributions. A simple “I appreciate your flexibility” can go a long way—especially when offered sincerely and at the right time, such as after a collaborative solution has been reached. However, offering gratitude too early in a negotiation, especially in a competitive setting, may unintentionally signal eagerness or weakness.
Happiness and Positivity
Optimism, warmth, and shared enthusiasm can build rapport and create a sense of partnership. Positive affect has been shown to increase trust, promote openness, and lead to more collaborative behavior. That said, showing too much joy too early—especially about an offer—can backfire. If you seem overly pleased, the other side may question whether they gave away too much.
Disappointment and Sadness
When expressed moderately and authentically, these emotions can deepen trust. They signal care, unmet expectations, or concern about the relationship’s future. For example, saying “I’m disappointed by how this is turning out” can prompt the other party to reconsider their position if they value the relationship. However, repeated or exaggerated expressions can come across as manipulative.
Guilt and Regret
When someone acknowledges a misstep and takes responsibility, it can be a powerful trust repair tool. Sincere expressions of regret—especially when paired with corrective action—can de-escalate tension and restore goodwill. Timing and authenticity are key. A poorly timed or insincere apology may do more harm than good.
Emotions That Erode Trust
Some emotions, particularly when expressed reactively or without context, can quickly corrode trust and undermine long-term relationships.
Anger
Anger signals conflict and threat. It may secure a short-term concession in competitive contexts, but it almost always damages long-term trust. Unless it’s issue-focused, justified, and carefully contained, anger can escalate conflict, provoke retaliation, and harm professional relationships.
Anxiety and Fear
High visible anxiety can create doubt about your competence or confidence. Others may worry that you won’t hold your ground or may misread anxiety as evasiveness. While a little nervousness can humanize you, unchecked anxiety tends to reduce trust and destabilize team dynamics.
Emotions That Enhance Negotiation Outcomes
Some emotions do more than build trust—they actively help create better deals by encouraging collaboration, increasing information flow, and unlocking creativity.
Happiness and Positivity
Positive emotions create a more flexible mindset and promote creativity. They reduce the perceived threat level, which encourages both sides to share more and consider joint gains. A warm, constructive tone also shortens the time to agreement and lowers the risk of impasse.
Gratitude
Expressed sincerely, gratitude reinforces goodwill and commitment to follow-through. It enhances the quality of post-agreement relationships and can make the other party more open to future collaborations.
Sadness or Disappointment
Used thoughtfully, these emotions can prompt empathy and a desire to restore fairness—leading to creative concessions or new solutions. This is particularly effective in ongoing relationships where the counterpart values emotional transparency.
Anger
While risky, strategic expressions of anger can pressure the other party to move or make concessions—particularly in one-shot, distributive negotiations. However, this tactic should be used sparingly and with full awareness of its relational cost.
Guilt and Regret
Expressions of remorse can help restart negotiations after a breakdown. They can defuse tension, re-center the discussion, and lead to better long-term solutions. In collaborative settings, this can create a platform for reengagement and deeper trust.
Emotions That Undermine Negotiation Outcomes
Other emotions, when unmanaged or misapplied, can hinder performance, shut down conversation, or lead to poorly structured agreements.
Anxiety and Fear
These emotions often lead to lower aspirations, weaker offers, rushed decisions, and poor communication. Anxious negotiators may concede too early just to escape discomfort—giving up value unnecessarily.
Anger
When overused or poorly timed, anger provokes defensiveness and can escalate conflict. It often shuts down communication and makes integrative outcomes harder to reach.
Gratitude (if overused)
Gratitude expressed too early or too often—especially without reciprocation—can be read as deference or compliance. In competitive settings, this can encourage the other side to push harder or take advantage.
Excessive Disappointment
If you repeatedly show disappointment, it can wear down the other party and make them feel manipulated or guilt-tripped. This may backfire, leading to disengagement rather than collaboration.
Poorly Timed Guilt or Regret
When you express regret too early or without clear follow-up, it may weaken your position. The other party might interpret it as an admission of fault—and press harder rather than soften.
Final Thought
Emotion isn’t the opposite of reason in negotiation—it’s a core part of how reason is communicated, interpreted, and acted upon. The most effective negotiators aren’t those who eliminate emotion, but those who master it.
By learning to recognize, regulate, and express emotions with intention, you gain leverage that goes beyond logic: you build trust, expand outcomes, and cultivate durable partnerships.
In a world where deals can be commoditized, how you negotiate—emotionally, relationally, strategically—becomes your real competitive edge.